Hammertime: For those who have birthdays, this is for you

Hammertime takes a moment to anyone who celebrates their birthday

Mike Rainone


No matter what age we may be or how one is feeling or fairing on this particular or any other day we must always try to look forward to our next birthday and to celebrate and be proud of what we have accomplished so far along the way.

It should always be a very special time to be loved and pampered by the amazing family, friends, and unique acquaintances and ‘true characters’ that have always been there for us each and every year, no matter what.

It doesn’t really matter where, when, or how we mark this annual and inevitable event we will all receive the delightful phone calls, e-mails, neat gifts, and a few jokes and teasers from all sorts of well-meaning folks. At the various stages of our life from tots to seniors we have likely vowed to stay feeling young, active, and somewhat of a ‘social butterfly’, but as the years go by we may have to slow down just a little, but we should always try to fondly realize that what used to streak now creaks, and that most of our daily action may now be enjoyed between 7 a.m. and 9 p.m., with those grand old ‘all nighters’, parties, and blowouts, few and far between. Whatever the case, as long as we can keep up with our grandchildren and still really enjoy mostly good days and great company, everything will turn out a-okay. Now, I would love to share just a little happy birthday humour and tributes with all of you out there.

• Time and tides wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

• About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. Then again, age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is just a number, and for some of us they are unlisted.

• For all the advances in modern medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened.

• Birthdays are very good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

• When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

• Live as long as you may, but always remember that the first 20 years is not only the longest half of your life, but also the hardest to later try to explain to your kids.

• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a women’s birthday, but never remembers her age. It is said that few women admit their age and few men act theirs, but that men are like wine…. some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

• Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and anniversaries, and the other who never forgets them. Take a guess which side we are on bunky, so store them on your I-Phone or go out and buy some more sticky notes.

• After 30 a body has a mind of its own, and for many of us our back goes out more than we do.

• Always look on the bright side. If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes; looking 50 is great if you are sixty; and the very best birthdays are those that haven’t arrived yet.

• When we were younger we could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

• If I’d known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself, but then again, it’s never to late to clean out the old pipes.

• The vibrant couple were proudly celebrating their silver wedding anniversary. The wife turned to her husband and asked, “Will you still love me when my hair turns grey?” He wistfully replied, “Why not? Haven’t I loved you through six other shades?”

• They claim that life begins at 40, but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty this and that, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person three or four times. Note. I could be guilty of that, but it is only because many of my buddies forgot what I told them before.

• Today most of the generations insist on getting cards for their birthdays…like Visa, American Express, and all sorts of gift cards. Look at it this way, they are not hard to wrap, and there are never any duplications or returns.

• As people age, do they sleep more soundly? Yes, but usually in the afternoon, and occasionally in church.

Whatever the case, the very best birthday parties are those we share with everyone else, which no matter how many candles there are on the cake, comes with so many fond memories and never-ending love. Spring’s arrival is for sure, so smile in the sunshine, jump over the puddles, and have a great week, all of you.

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