This is what kind of week it was. Late one night, a member stopped an expensive BMW on the freeway he had clocked at 155 km/h. The driver was extremely fidgety. The reason for this soon became apparent. The driver stated that he was speeding in an effort to arrive at a properly outfitted rest stop where he could relieve the pressure on his bladder legally. He seemed very concerned that he do so in a place where this is lawful. When further explanation seemed necessary ... he added that he was a lawyer. The member reassured him, “it’s the middle of the night and there is no traffic in sight. Just go now in the bushes. I’d much rather have you do that than have you speeding down the highway with your attention focused on the pressure in your bladder”. The lawyer wagged his finger at the member and declined. “I know ‘entrapment’ when I see it”, he warned. (It took about 15 minutes to write up his ticket and it was about another 40 kms to the next licit lavatory ... I wonder how he made out?)
Police were dispatched to a break and enter occurring to a residence late one evening. The reporter witnessed the shadowy suspect break one of the basement windows at his neighbours and called police as the hulking figure began to enter the residence through that window. A swarm of members attended and formulated a quick entry and search plan before approaching the residence. The need for such a plan was a wasted effort since the burglar had not entered the house ... not completely anyway.
Like Pooh stuck in the rabbit hole, the smaller top half of the burglar was inside the residence. The larger rear half was wedged tightly into the window frame. The caboose was immediately placed under arrest for break and enter but when the top half was extricated and discovered to be that of the “lady of the house” the charges were dropped. She later explained (though self-evident to the trained police investigator) that she had consumed a few too many cocktails and she had managed to lock herself out of her house.
One day there was a “good news” story which involved meat and a “bad news” story which involved meat. The first one (the “good” one) demonstrated how thoughtful the police can be. It started out as a complaint of a bicyclist having been hit by another vehicle on a side road. The caller didn’t see the collision but he’d glimpsed the unconscious (or worse) rider, tangled up in his bike in the ditch and the it appeared that his groceries were strewn about around him. He called police to report the gruesome discovery as he continued on to his destination. Police attended and discovered that the man was not dead but only dead drunk. As is his practice, on pay day, he buys his groceries, gets liquored up, buys a bottle for the long ride home and drinks it until he passes out. Very often he passes out mid-pedal and then becomes the subject of a complaint just like this one. On such days, his trip is always stretched out an extra eight hours or so while he sleeps it off in the drunk tank.
Now, I started out talking about meat right? The thoughtful member gathered up his groceries from the scene and noticed that a frozen package of regular ground beef accompanied the non-perishables. When he got back to the detachment he considerately put the frozen hamburger in the detachment freezer (where we keep the inmates supply of frozen macaroni dinners and loaves of bread). He placed a note on the booking form so that which ever member released him on the following watch would know to “give him his meat from the freezer”. I later heard that the man was given his meat upon his release and seemed ever so grateful ... even surprised by the thoughtfulness he was being afforded by the very people whom had locked him up only hours earlier.
Later that same day police investigated a complaint of stolen meat. The complainant reported that she had gone to the local farmers market during her lunch break and had purchased about 30 lbs of assorted cold cuts, kielbasa and a big ham. She didn’t have enough time to get her purchase home so she brought it to her office and placed it in the office freezer (where they keep the inmates supply of frozen macaroni dinners and loaves of bread) ...
If you have information about this alleged “inside job”, any unsolved crime or ongoing criminal enterprise, call the Ponoka RCMP at 783-4472. You can also call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS or now leave tips anonymously on-line at www.tipsubmit.com . If this is the kind of environment that you would like to work in, we are hiring. Check us out at www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca or call 1-877-RCMP-GRC for information about the application process.