Hairy Eye Balls and Flying People. Just some of the things people called 911 about.

Between July 13 and the 20 Ponoka RCMP members stayed busy detecting criminal activity, responding to emergencies and maintaining the peace despite the best efforts of one man who doesn’t grasp the concept of 911. He used it last week to complain about getting the hairy eyeball from an eight year old.

Between July 13 and the 20 Ponoka RCMP members stayed busy detecting criminal activity, responding to emergencies and maintaining the peace despite the best efforts of one man who doesn’t grasp the concept of 911. He used it last week to complain about getting the hairy eyeball from an eight year old. He did the same thing again this week- for the same reason. Police scolded the child’s parent for pestering the complainant and scolded the complainant for abusing the 911system. It turns out that this was a complete waste of our time in any event. It appears that the eight year old retaliated and threw an egg at the complainant’s house and the complainant considered that the egg-grenade constituted one of those life or death emergency situations that the nice police officer had talked about. Notwithstanding, 26 outlaws were rounded up and corralled in cells this week.

A woman was driving through town when she began to feel thirsty. She thought she had brought along a nice, cold, bottle of iced tea but she couldn’t find it anywhere in her car. She spotted a local service station and pulled into the parking lot. She was just going to run into the convenience store … when she did just that. Run her car into the convenience store I mean. It turns out that the bottle of iced tea she had misplaced had managed to roll between her brake pedal and the floor board behind it. The store was fine, she was uninjured and the only real damage was to her new car. Now she has an amusing anecdote to share with her insurance adjuster.

Perhaps it will be the same adjuster dealing with this complaint: A woman called police to report that her four-year daughter had etched a really big mural. (Author’s note: My four-year old girl draws excellent princesses and my two-year old girl can draw sensational smiley faces but I never feel the need to call the office to brag about it. Then I continued to read the report and discovered the real reason for the mom’s call). Mom went on to explain that, while the artistic ability and vision expressed by this four year old was worthy of praise, the etching tool the child used was a sharp rock and the canvas was the exterior of Mom’s car. Mom needed a police file number to provide to her insurance company. (The reason for the file number is often to identify someone for the insurance company to collect from … although the assets of this potential respondent may be limited to the contents of a little ceramic piggy bank, a well worn copy of Green Eggs and Ham and some stuffed bears).

Police responded to a late night disturbance complaint at an apartment.

The complainant reported that she could hear a woman in another suite yelling angrily at people inside of that residence. Police attended and discovered that the woman was yelling at the people flying around inside her apartment. Since arguing with her about the existence of the flying people proved futile, police ordered the flying people to land forthwith or be charged for violating section 27 of the Municipal Household Aviation Bylaw. Oddly enough, that seemed to do the trick.

If you have information about any unsolved crime or ongoing criminal enterprise, call the Ponoka RCMP at 403-783-4472. You can also call

Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS or now leave tips anonymously on-line at www.tipsubmit.com . If this is the kind of environment that you would like to work in, we are hiring. Check us out at www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca or call 1-877-RCMP-GRC for information about the application process.

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