The young man received a rather alarming phone call from his father early one morning during the hectic month of December. “Your mother and I are really not looking forward to Christmas,” his father quietly explained. “We have been married for over 45 years, and things like family tradition don’t seem to be the same as they used to be?”
His son tried not to show it, but he was very upset by what he had just heard from his aging and always loving and very supportive parents. “I am going to phone my brother and sister and we will get back to you as soon as possible,” he insisted. “Meanwhile, your grandchildren are fine, they are always asking about grandma and grandpa: please take care; and we all love you both very much.”
The oldest son quickly phoned his brother and sister in various parts of the country and sincerely expressed that he was very worried about their mother and father many miles away. “What are you both doing for Christmas?” he asked, then explained that he didn’t think that he could get away and leave the family business for to long. The younger brother had plans to take his family back to the same holiday ski resort that they had been at for the past eight Christmases, while the youngest daughter was going to hang around as usual with her boyfriend and college buddies on a hot Mexican beach.
All three of course had mailed the usual gifts and cards off to their parents, promising as always that they would e-mail or phone them on Christmas day…. but maybe this was not good enough this time around? Frustrated and upset by all of their reactions to the situation the older brother decided to take charge, and over the next couple of weeks there would be lots of soul-searching, phone calls, and plans made by the siblings of that little family.
Now we can fast forward to Dec. 23, where we will find the happily married and very much in love parents sitting in their comfortable bungalow, snuggled in front of the roaring fire wrapping a whole bunch of gifts to place under the huge traditional Christmas tree in the corner. The silver haired father lovingly looked over at his wife of 45 years and uttered, “Won’t it be wonderful dear…. our whole family will FINALLY be home for Christmas!” “Yes”, she happily replied with a twinkle in her eye, ‘and it only took one little phone call!!’
Are you Lonesome Tonight? (The Senior Citizen version of the great Elvis song)
Are you lonesome tonight?
Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your Mylanta and tums?
Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding?
Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her, and it’s prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain?
Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Is your blood pressure up?
Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit,
Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like a well-oiled machine.
If it’s football or baseball,
He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knowss where it’s at,
But forgets what it’s for!
So your gallbladder’s gone,
But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
When you’re hungry, he’s not,
When you’re cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light,
He goes left you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic,
So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such a cranky old fart?
So don’t take any bets,
It’s as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight??
A little fun for Christmas!
*Unique holiday cards going out this season! To your Banker: Wishing you the best of the season. In the place of my $24,000 mortgage would you consider a ‘cookie exchange?’ To your stock broker: Merry Christmas. You have certainly lived up to your name this past year for I have never been broker.
*How good have they been this past year? Her four-year-old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mom that he’d just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. Not thinking too much of it she threw it in the garbage. The little lad stood there thinking for a moment, then dashed back to the bathroom and came out with his mother’s fancy and very expensive toothbrush. He held it up and announced with a charming little smile, “We’d better throw this one out to, cause it fell in the a toilet a few days ago!’
*Just because winter has finally arrived you can still bundle up and do some more shopping, at least for another seven hectic days if you wish. Have a great week, all of you!