All election campaigns should be stimulating

Isn’t it great to see so much interest in the forthcoming Oct.18, 2010 election throughout our province and right here for positions on Ponoka town and county councils and school boards?

Congratulations and good luck to the 31 enthusiastic candidates who have thrown their hats into the political ring for a chance to serve their community for the next busy and progressive three years.

The race is now on, and this will include 13 vying for spots on Ponoka town council, 10 for county council, and eight to represent the school wards. Sincere thanks also to all those keen council and school board members who have stepped down after diligently serving for one or more terms.

Whatever the case, it should be a very exciting and active few weeks as these candidates present their spirited platforms and promises at forums, in the media, and face to face out in the community with the residents they wish to serve. Please get involved as much as you can in the whole political process, make your choices, then cast your most important ballot on Monday, Oct. 18 on all fronts. Just for your information: the provincial voter turnout in the 2007 municipal elections ranged from a ridiculous low of 12 per cent in Airdrie to 48 per cent in Medicine Hat. Wouldn’t it be great to set a local record in voting turnout numbers this time around? I guess that would be up to all of us?

How about this technical advice to the lovelorn

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which had operated flawlessly under boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as romance and personal attention, then installed such undesirable programs as rugby, football, hockey, sailing, boy’s night out, unshaven, sloppy, and continuous television.

Conversation no longer runs and housekeeping simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running ‘nagging’ to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Sent by ‘Desperate newlywed’

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind that Boyfriend is an entertainment package, while Husband is an operating system. Please enter the command ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me? Html and try to download Tears.

Don’t ever forget to install the guilt update, and if that application works as it is designed Husband should then automatically run the applications jewelry and flowers. But always remember that this affection will only last until his memory fades, and that the overuse of the pamper application can occasionally cause Husband to default to ‘Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed, or Beer.’ Beer is a very bad program that will often download the Snoring Loudly and Gas Beta.

Whatever you do, do not install Mother-In-Law as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. Also, don’t you dare attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program, as these are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running just one task at a time! You might consider buying additional software to improve Husband’s memory and performance. May we recommend food and hot lingerie?

Good luck from Tech Support

Thank goodness our Alberta is rat free

I read a harrowing story last week about a monster rat invasion in Ravencliffe Estates in England, where a group of rats was shot, and upon inspection measured up to 2.5 feet, and were as big as a bulldog. Experts are calling the unwanted visitors ‘Ratzillas’ but they actually are believed to be the descendents of the coypu species, which originates in South America.

But fear not, as our Alberta is still rat-free, thanks to the efforts of Alberta’s Rat Patrol, which has operated for 60 years, and now has an annual budget of $250,000 to keep these hairy rodents away from our great clean and green province. Their call number is 3-1-1, but hopefully we will never have to use it.

Get your rakes ready, but don’t put away the golf clubs or the summer toys yet, and have a great sunny fall week, all of you!

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