Another fabulous showing by our Olympians
While winter still hangs on and the pot-holes begin to appear, we as proud and hardy Canadians stayed hot and enthused by cheering on each and every one of our amazing athletes at the 2014 Sochi Winter Games. It certainly was another thrilling and colorful effort by our Canadian team and all other competitors, and one would be remise if we didn’t tip the red and white toque to those outstanding hosts from the Russian Federation for staging what has to go down as one of the best Olympic showdowns in history.
Even despite the fact that many of us ‘sports fanatics’ had to hop out of bed very early in the morning to watch the action, it was well worth it to be able to get totally pumped while cheering on our heroes in that great longstanding “Go-Canada-Go.” spirit and tradition of good sports. By the way, Olympic hockey would never be the same if there wasn’t a Canadian team in the thick of the action, so hopefully that will never be allowed to happen. Please now make sure to tune in on the annual Para-Olympic Games now currently being hosted in Sochi, and featuring hundreds of very special and determined athletes from throughout the world.
A unique conference for men only
Whether it is a subtle hint or not, I received an email on the weekend concerning a forthcoming WICOE (Women in Charge of Everything) workshop where special evening classes will be offered to men only. Apparently the evening sessions will be filled with all sorts of ‘handy household hints’ that the ladies feel we need to be more skilled and less ‘klutzy’ around our hopefully happy abodes. Here are some of the courses offered, with only eight men allowed to attend each hands-on lecture so that they can’t doze off, get bored, or slip out for coffee.
● How to fill ice cube trays...features step by step guide with slide presentations.
● Toilet rolls. Do they grow on holders? Includes round-table discussion.
● Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Includes practicing with and hitting the hamper as well as vivid pictures, graphics, and appropriate verbal comments.
● Dishes and silverware. Do they levitate or fly from the table from other parts of the house to the kitchen sink or do they somehow end up in there by themselves? Course will feature debate among a panel of experts led by those who do the cooking around the house.
● Remote Controls. Will discuss the most frustrating daily occurrence of losing our remote controls to all the new electronic gizmos that we now possess. Will include a help line and support groups that will suggest in a nice way to chill out and try to remember where we last left the darn things.
● Learning how to find things. Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming, cursing, and blaming everyone else.
● Empty Milk Cartons. Will ask the question, do they belong in the fridge or the garbage bin and what is recycling? Group discussion and role play will be lots of fun during this course.
● Health Watch. This neat course will remind us that bringing her flowers will never be harmful to our health. A great PowerPoint presentation will give us hubbies and boyfriends some unique ideas about how we can make her feel special as well as gaining lots of ‘brownie points.”
● Real men ask for directions when they are lost. Will include a real life testimonial from the one man who did.
● Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Will feature a driving simulation as well as highlighting all the ongoing consequences of back seat drivers or nagging spouses.
● Living with adults. Will highlight the basic differences and bad habits between living with your mother and your wife. An online class and some role playing should be really interesting.
● How to be an ideal shopping companion. Will feature vigorous relaxation exercises, meditation, and breathing techniques that the man should practise while pushing the cart.
● Remembering important dates and calling when you are going to be late. Very important to bring your calendar or PDA to class, and then find out why we should never bring company home unannounced.
● Getting over it; and learning how to live with being wrong all the time. Individual councillors will be on hand to listen to our side of the story, as well as assisting us to organize our own BUYM (Better understanding your man) conference, which will feature really nice evening sessions for the ladies that will help to rekindle the spark that couples always had with each other…It is time for us to get off the couch, toss off the Olympic withdrawal with some clean fresh air, and have a great week, all of you..
— Hammertime