Hammertime

Hammertime

Donald and Mickey are now running the United States

Hammertime takes a fun look at the growing up in the 1950s.

It may not be something that we could imagine coming out of a magic Disneyland storybook, but it is actually a fact that DONALD and MICKEY are now leading the United States of America into the future for the next four years.

For sure President Donald Trump and his VP Mickey Pence have already rattled quite a few chains during their first very busy and wild weeks in the White House, but as proud Canadians let’s all try to sit back, take a deep breath and see how it shakes out for all of us in the long run.

From our generation to yours

This week, thanks to one of my email buddies, I would like to share this little poem full of special memories and loads of laughs about those of us who were growing up in the ’50s so many years ago, and we will now proudly pass on to our vibrant new generations of today, with lots of love and luck.

Long ago and far away in a land that time forgot, before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot, there lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me.

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born and where navels were for oranges and Peyton Place was considered as porn.

We longed for love and romance and waited for our Prince, in a time when Eddie Fisher married Liz and no one has seen him since.

We danced to ‘Little Darlin’ and sang to ‘Stagger Lee’, and cried for Buddy Holly in the land that made you and me.

Only girls wore earrings then and three was one to many, and only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney. Only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see a boy named George with Lipstick on in the land that made you and me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon and Annette was oh so nice, and when they made a movie they only made it twice.

We didn’t have a Star Trek Five or Psycho two and three or Rocky-Rambo in the land that made you and me. Miss Kitty had a heart of gold and Chester had a limp, and Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard but not a Mr. T. and Oprah couldn’t talk yet in the land that made you and me. We had our share of heroes that we never thought would go, at least not Bobby Darren and Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal and life was yet to be, and Elvis was forever in the land that made you and me. We’d never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, and Airplanes weren’t Jefferson’s and Zeppelins were not led. Beatles lived in gardens then and Monkees lived in trees, and Madonna was Mary in the land that made you and me.

We’d never heard of microwaves or telephones run by signals from the stars, and babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren’t strapped in to fancy seats in cars. Pumping iron got the wrinkles out and ‘gay’ meant fancy free, and Dorms were never co-ed in the land that made you and me. We hadn’t seen enough jets then to talk about the lag, and microchips were what were left at the bottom of the bag.

Hardware was a box of nails and bytes came from a flea, and rocket ships were fiction in a land that made you and me. T-Birds came with portholes and sideshows came with freaks, and bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

Coke came just in bottles and skirts came to below her knee, and Castro came to power near the land that made you and me. We had no Crest with fluoride, no Hill Street Blues, no patterned pantyhose or Lipton Herbal tea, and there weren’t any prime time ads for daily dysfunctions in the land that made you and me.

There were no ‘Golden Arches’ no Perrier to chill, fish were not called Wanda and cats were not called Bill. Middle age was 35 and old was 43, and ancient were our parents in the Land that made you and me. We came a long way baby from the ‘flashy fifties’, but now we have to face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans and smaller print in magazines. But what the heck, we just love to tell our children just how it used to be and no matter what the reaction might be, we somehow managed to survive. Have a great week, all of you.