Good news week for Canadian hockey fans

MIKE RAINONE/Hammertime

I really hope that most of our avid Canadian hockey fans are cheering for the Vancouver Canucks to finally bring the battered old Stanley Cup back across the border where it belongs.

We will however forgive those ardent fans who may be cheering for the Boston Bruins, a member of the National Hockey League’s ‘Original Six,’ who like my beloved Leafs (1967), haven’t won the cup since 1972. On the other hand, the Vancouver Canucks have never sipped champagne from Lord Stanley’s 119-year-old mug, and as we have already witnessed there will be likely be a whole lot of hits — and maybe even a few bites — before this intense final series is over.

As an avid hockey fanatic of all calibres of our great Canadian game, I am really thrilled to see that Winnipeg is so deservedly getting their Jets (or whatever) National Hockey League team back in time for the 2011-2012 season. All of the hype and determination led to 13,000 season tickets being sold in two minutes after it was opened to the general public, with another 8,000 hungry fans joining a waiting list. Hopefully, along the way, the new Winnipeg owners will make some allowances for some affordable family admission packages, as well as always having their team available to the thousands of excited youngsters, who will eventually be our players and citizens of the future.

Our next wish, wouldn’t it be nice if the National Hockey League would consider icing an all-Canadian division??

Wanted: farmers with back seat drivers and adults on trikes

I see that a great new addition to the 75th Wild Wild West of 36 celebration from June 27 to July 2, will be a Ponoka Stampede Downtown Festival (rain or shine) with many fun events for the whole family featured each and every day.

One of the zany attractions for any age of adults to join will be a ‘Farmer’s Wife Garden Tractor Race’ and a ‘Business Trike Dash,’ all on Tuesday, June 28 from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. on 51st Avenue. The tractor race will have the male driver go blindfolded through an obstacle course while his better half follows behind in the wagon giving instructions. Sounds familiar.

The Trike Dash for local business participants will follow the same course, but they will have to pedal around twice. There are not too many rules for these fun competitions, but what a great way to challenge your rural neighbours or all those opposition or other businesses or organizations around town who claim that they are in better shape than you are. If you would like to let loose and lay it all on the road for the fans and a real good time, give Barry (Hot Wheels) Neath a call at 403-783-7410.

Watch for more notice on all the other special events that will be happening during the Ponoka Stampede Downtown Festival!

The Grandparent’s answering machine

For those of us who are now or eventually will have the extreme joy of becoming grandparents, here is an idea for a our own private answering machine, from which we can control all incoming calls from our beloved siblings.

Here’s how it should go:

Good morning — at present we are not at home, but please leave a message after the beep. If you are one of our children please dial 1, then select the following options:

• If you need us to babysit your children, press 2.

• If you want to borrow the car, press 3.

• If you want us to wash and iron your clothes, press 4.

• If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.

• If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.

• If you want to come for a short visit on the weekend, press 7.

• If you want to come for the weekend and eat here, press 8.

• If you need a little money, dial 9.

• If you need bail money, dial 9-1-1.

• If you are going to invite us out to dinner, to the movies, or the theatre, or on holidays with you, then start talking, because we are listening.

Advice to a nice old guy

An old bachelor, who was not in the best of shape, was working out in the gym when he spotted a shapely young lady vigorously exercising in the corner. He quietly asked the trainer, who was nearby, ‘What machine could I use to impress that sweet young thing over there?’

The trainer looked him up and down for a few moments, then replied: ‘I would try the ATM in the lobby.’

Then there was the bright little four-year-old who stepped on the bathroom scales and asked his mother, ‘How much do I cost?’

Whether it seems like it or not, summer has really arrived, so perk up, enjoy it, and have a great week, all of you!

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