Hair today but quite often gone tomorrow

Like most of you I am sure, I have always been real fussy about my hair.

Like most of you I am sure, I have always been real fussy about my hair.

Although my locks at the age of 70 have now turned completely gray, they still continue to grow like wild fire. Now that I am partially retired, but busy, I love to admire today’s amazing hairstyles that are boldly worn by people of all ages and walks of life. I don’t really know if brush cuts and pony tails are in that much anymore, and when I asked someone if long hair and sideburns was coming back, they kind of indicated that they had never really left and then casually asked what era I had come from.

You can’t help but notice the younger set is really into the bright splashes of color in their hair, which I guess can be changed quite easily each month with a cut and a color, or during a daring adventure at the kitchen sink.

Many men have now taken on that smooth and shiny bald look, which they claim is really easy to maintain but must be vulnerable to the sun and the deep freeze.

My beloved grandchildren and their classmates are hooked on the age-old Iroquois cut, while the girls seem to favour short, curly, real short, waves, and all sorts of other fabulous new styles.

Our bright and fancy hair salons now offer all sorts of services for their clients from head to toes but I understand a big priority for many men and women is to keep their hair free of that ever impending invasion of those dreaded traces of gray.

Yours truly can’t afford a stylist or permanent perm anymore, so I head down to the barbershop for cheap Tuesdays, where there’s always lots of reminiscing, and at the end of the day the floor resembles the aftermath of an Alberta whiteout. When I was growing up we couldn’t afford the luxury of a store-bought haircut, so my mother did it at the kitchen table, with no arguments, and also insisted on a cleanout of our ears at the same time.

Later we got to go down every six weeks or so for a $2 haircut at the barbershop next to the Capitol Theatre, where yours truly chose a crew cut or brush cut, simply because I was lazy, it didn’t have to be brushed or combed and it was great when playing sports.

Later of course, like many other amorous teens of the Fifties, we let it grow long, slicked it back with scads of Brylcreem, spent hours in front of the mirror, added long Elvis sideburns, and never wore a hat.

However you may choose to fashion your hair, the same as always, or in new and wildly unique stylings, I am sure that it will look just great but please look after and pamper those precious locks, because they are delicate, and will not last forever. Just remember, whether your hair is thicker or thinner, you will always be a winner.

What if there were a husband store?

In this anything goes day and age let’s just imagine that someday a big company or a wealthy entrepreneur might introduce a chain of “husband stores,” where single women can go on an exciting shopping trip to choose the perfect husband for themselves?

• You may visit this store only once. There are six floors and the value of the products will increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The guest may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor but they cannot go back down except to exit the building, with or without their new partner.

• Business has been extremely busy at all of the nation’s new “husband stores,” with long and noisy line-ups each day. The first lady to enter the store today begins her romantic search, discovering on the first floor the sign on the door reads: “These men have jobs.”

She is intrigued, but continues on to the second floor where the entry sign reads: “These men have jobs and love kids.”

“That’s nice, but I want more,” she explains, and heads up the stairs.

• The third floor sign stated these men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking, but she felt compelled to keep on going. Arriving on floor number 4 she was informed the men available here have jobs, love kids, are wildly handsome, and will help with the housework.

She could hardly stand it, but she finally decided to go on up to floor 5, where the big sign explained “These men have jobs, love kids, are absolutely gorgeous, will help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.”

• She is so tempted to choose her future beau on floor 5 but with great expectations she heads up to floor number 6, where she is shocked to be faced the sign:

“You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor, which exists solely as proof that some women will always be impossible to please.”

Have a great week, all of you!