Mike Rainone
Hammertime
Now that summer has finally arrived in the full mode of hot and sunny with just a few showers and boomers, we can now really get right into those countless vigorous or relaxing activities of our own choice and speed for the next glorious five months, or more.
During this delightful stretch of nature’s finest displays of beauty and bountiful offspring, all of us, no matter what age we may be, will now have many more hours a day to come up with the perfect family plan of work and play, with a few extra holiday sessions thrown in, while having the option of staying up late, sleeping in, and quick naps on many occasions.
Along with many more tee times available from dawn until dusk on our magnificent golf courses, we can also all look forward to an action-packed summer menu of rodeos, races, air-shows, fairs, farmer’s markets, car and motorcycle rallies, concerts, splash parks, and all the rest. Of course there is also that grand old traditional pastime of attending those countless and always popular garage sales and auctions, where one can browse or buy to their heart’s content, as well as trying out all the unique new food trucks that are showing up on the summer circuit. There are now so many fabulous summer camps for children from tots to teens, where they get an exciting chance for many neat things and meet new friends, as well as being a perfect opportunity for their parents to plan that second honey-moon or a relaxing get-away without kids. At this time of the year it doesn’t really matter what the weather is, because we should know by now that we have to adjust to the conditions and be prepared to go into our ‘inside’ fun mode quicker than you can say, ‘Did you put the top up on your convertible?’ Walking, hiking, biking, and rolling across our thousands of miles of walking paths and provincial trail systems is now at its peak time, but before you venture out please remember to take along some bug and bear spray, a hat, cell-phone, suntan lotion, Band-Aids, lots of water, as well as a few treats, while always taking a little time along the way to find some shade, relax, and enjoy the view.
Summer is also that fun and gala time of the year for graduations, family and class reunions, and well as a perfect chance to hit the road and visit relatives or old friends. The ‘camping craze’ has also hit full bore, with thousands heading out with their big and fancy new units pulling boats and cars and RVs behind them, while others still love to ‘rough it’ under the stars in their tents or campers, and some will just simply slip away to the old cabin in the woods. Out on our hundreds of pristine Alberta lakes and streams the avid fisher folks will be testing their luck against or swimming with the wily ‘fin creatures’ while others will choose the wild side out on the lake of water-skiing, tubing, and other fast and flashy dare-devil antics that are designed to thrill, but may flip you over and dunk you quick.
But then again there will be those who will choose to fashion their ‘bronze tan’ by spending these lazy-hazy-crazy days of summer at home, hanging out in the magnificent back yard that they have been grooming and pampering for two months, or sitting back with our favourite beverage and watching the ‘wanna-be barbecue kings and queens’ performing their culinary magic. You can be sure that right now there is some sort of games of baseball, slow-pitch, soccer, tennis, football, and other family activities and tournaments going on every night of the week and weekends. Whether you are a willing participant, spectator, or volunteer please have a happy and safe summer, and always share your joy with family and friends.
Here is the comedy side of summer
• The magnificent sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for countless generations, but the sight of a bald man however does absolutely nothing for the eagle, except to possibly swoop at the shiny target.
• In emergency situations you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made out of the elastic of your underwear.
• Two skunks were observing a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with rifle in hand. “I hope he’s not going to shoot at us,” said the first skunk. Not taking any chances the second skunk quickly bowed his head and replied, “Let us spray.”
• Actual comments recorded at travel and tourism information centres: ‘Loved the hike, but it would sure be nice to have a McDonalds at the trail head. ‘Trails need to be wider so that people can walk holding hands,’ and, ‘Could you please spray the wilderness areas for leaches, mosquitoes, and spiders?’
Come out of your cocoon buddy and enjoy our great outdoors while you can, and then go ahead and have a great week, all of you.