I love my computer….but sometimes it really scares me

I really don’t know what I would do without my computer, and all those other nifty gadgets that have been added

I really don’t know what I would do without my computer, and all those other nifty gadgets that have been added to my tiny and often messy home office. It lets me stay in touch with all my email friends, it keeps me connected with the ever changing pulse of our modern world, and it allows me to type all my stories then even corrects my terrible spelling. Like many of us, I was a little leery when I put aside my trusty typewriter quite a few years ago, and then attempted to get used to this new and fancy plastic box, which had a tower and lots of flashing lights, as well as a keyboard that had a whole lot more directions than my noisy old Remington.

As new companies quickly came on board to take advantage of the new computer revolution, we were encouraged to add amazing new programs such as Skype, Facebook, my-space, your space, LinkedIn, Google, Tweet, Firefox, and on and on, all within our own little wifi world and protected by all sorts of virus and spam terminators. It wasn’t long before we found out that we could now combine all of our electronic toys together into little black boxes to include our phones and TV sets, as well as other great amenities such as the iPod, the iPhone, laptops, e-books, games and who knows what else might pop up next?

Already at the age of 60 and from the ‘old school’, some of these new computer challenges became a little bit too complicated, but I bravely vowed to find my way to Windows, set my stories, saved it every five minutes, made a copy when I was done, then carefully emailed it twice to those who knew what they were doing. Along the way, when I was trying to master this new desktop adventure, I would push the wrong buttons, find the most interesting,  surprising, often wild and some-times naughty  things while browsing the internet, but picked up lots of new email addresses every day, and loved sharing  chats, pictures and great jokes. When I first ran into trouble in those early days, I would usually go into a complete panic, but later I learned to ‘chill out’, realized that my computer won’t bite or yell at me, then took a deep breath and called my children or grandchildren to get me out of the mess that I had created.

On the same note, an old friend sent me a neat email the other day insisting that all ‘old’ computer users (born prior to 1964) such as myself should read this new warning immediately. He insisted that he wanted to let me know about a new e-mail virus that even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot defeat. Even if we are stubborn or might think that we may be wrongly included in this group, we should be warned that it will eventually catch up to us all, so maybe we should quietly check out these symptoms in the privacy of our own ‘computer kingdoms?’

This new-found virus causes you to send the same email twice, to send a blank email, to send an email to the wrong person, to send it back to the same person who sent it to you, to forget to attach the attachment, to hit send before you finish, to hit delete instead of send or to hit send when you should have hit delete, and then utter ‘Oh no, what have I done?’

Apparently, this new malady is called the C-NILE VIRUS. By the way, have I already sent this to you my friend, did you send it to me, or did I forget?? Meanwhile, I will just continue to have fun in my cozy little office, keep insisting that I am not ‘losing it’, and if someone asks if my computer has ‘cookies’ I will insist that we go for coffee.

Complaints from dissatisfied travellers

Believe it or not, these are actual complaints that were received by Thomas Cook Vacations from unhappy customers.

● We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us that we had to bring our own swim-suit and towels. The beach was also too sandy and we had to clean everything before we returned to our room.

● I like shopping in the afternoons so I believe that ‘siesta time’ in Mexico should be banned.

● No one told us that there would be fish in the water and our children were scared. I was bitten by mosquitos, which were not mentioned in your fancy travel brochure.

● They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was most distracting for my husband, who just wanted to relax.

● Last but not least: My fiancé and I requested twin beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant, and this would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked..

Whatever the case your summer holiday will always be as good as you make it, so just relax, relish the sunshine, and have a great week, all of you.

HAMMERTIME