Let’s try to find some humour in winter

Hammertime

Despite the fact that most of us have been shivering just a little in this January deep-freeze, suffering slightly from the after-Christmas let-down, and are wondering just what will happen to the economy as the year progresses, we must all try to look on the bright side, if that is possible.

Look at it this way…there are absolutely no bugs around, and if we dress up warm there are lots of outdoor activities to do or watch by every member of the family. Ice and snow is great for sliding, fishing, skating, making forts, or shoveling; and the fresh air is really invigorating. Winter is also good for snuggling up and reading a good book, getting back to favourite hobbies, watching a good movie, playing family games, or catching a few naps in your old chair. Then there are those folks who will quietly slip away to a little fun in the sun, returning with a quick tan that will peel after the first hot shower.

Please try to share the snow shoveling, and make sure that your trusty vehicle is up to the task of getting you around. Just to perk everyone up a little, I thought I would throw in a little humour this week, so chuckle, enjoy, and share if you wish.

The Regina trucker

As a Regina trucker stops for a red light on Highway 11 a young lady catches up to him. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

The trucker politely ignores her and proceeds on down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again, jumps out of the car, runs up, and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window, and as if they have never spoken before the cute blonde utters brightly, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

Shaking his head in frustration the trucker ignores here once again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath the young lady gets out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the door with the same determination. The trucker slowly lowers the window, and again she pleads, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

When the light finally turns green the trucker revs up his truck and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of his truck and runs back to the ladies’ car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says….”Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s winter in CANADA, and I am driving one of this fine city’s 55 yellow and red salt trucks!”

True confessions only found in her diary about the year in review

*In January I took my new Christmas scarf back because it was too tight!

*In February I was fired from my pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hellllloooo-those little bottles won’t fit in a printer!

*I was really excited in March. I finished a jigsaw in six months and the box had read two to four years!

*It was horrible in April. I was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out! (that had to be an April fools joke?).

*In May I tried to make Kool-Aid, but they gave me the wrong instructions. Eight cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!

*In June I tried to go water skiing, but couldn’t find a downhill lake.

*In the hot month of July I lost the breaststroke-swimming competition, then learned later that the other swimmers had cheated by using their arms!

*August was a terrible experience. I got locked out of my car in a rainstorm, and it was swamped because some idiot left the top down.

*On a quiet day in September I was doing a crossword puzzle. The capital of California is ‘C’ isn’t it?

*October. My boyfriend hates M and M’s because they are so hard to peel!

*In November I baked a turkey for four and a half days. The instructions said one hour per pound, and I weigh 108!

*It was in December that I found out I couldn’t call 9-11. ‘Duh’…there’s no ‘eleven’ button on the stupid phone!

HAPPY WINTER TO YOU ALL

It’s winter in Canada and the gentle breezes blow,

70 miles an hour at 35 below!

Oh, how I love Canada when the snow’s right up to your butt,

You take a breath of winter, and your nose gets frozen shut

Yes, the weather here is wonderful so I guess I’ll hang around,

I could never leave Canada, because my feet are frozen to the ground

*Of course we will survive, because we are Albertans, and proud of it! Have a great week, all of you!