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On life’s journey there are two choices; life or death

by Beatrix Schirner

I had the honour of listening to Spencer Beach present at the Volunteers Are Priceless Treasures event at the Kinsmen Centre last week. He was truly inspirational. Searing in his honesty, he moved us step by step through the experience of the chemical fire that gave him third and fourth degree burns to 90 per cent of his body. With only a five per cent chance of living his doctor laid it out squarely for him: he could choose to die or to live. I was reminded of the scripture passage in Deuteronomy 30:19 “...I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life...”

Spencer chose life. But as he so vividly detailed for us, much of his time spent moving toward healing and recovery felt more like curses than blessings. Always asking, “Why me?” he was plagued by anger and despair. He felt useless, helpless and hopeless. No wonder suicide seemed sweet to him. Fortunately, he was physically incapable of acting on these thoughts. The turning point for him came five months after his accident, when his wife brought their newborn daughter into his isolation hospital room. Somewhere along his long and painful journey, he changed his question from “Why me?” to “What can I do for me?”

That change of perspective made all the difference. He stopped being a victim and started to take responsibility for himself. He began to set goals for himself and to anticipate the potential roadblocks that might sabotage his efforts. Above all, he really committed himself to participating in his recovery. It wasn’t easy. Most of us have difficulty even imagining the realities of his small and large challenges.

He wasn’t the only one who was really committed. Woven throughout his story was the name of his wife, Tina. From that fateful day five years ago, the day of the fire, she seems to have never wavered. Pregnant with their first child, one can only imagine what she went through. Even when he looked his worst, on the day of his unbelievable injuries, she wanted to touch him. While Spencer feared that his skin and flesh would flake off at her touch, Tina touched him tenderly on his forehead.

The journey from burn victim to inspirational speaker was long. It would be 18 months before he was home again. The months in hospital and beyond were marked with peaks and valleys. Each victory was celebrated, but inevitably would be followed by a slump. As Spencer outlined for us, the peaks and valleys got progressively less extreme. During one valley, while still in hospital, Spencer told his wife that she should leave him. “Take everything and go.” Her response? She replied that she would do nothing of the sort, “You’re a stupid man!”

Was I deeply impressed with his presentation? Absolutely. This entire story is woven in love. Strength and courage imparted from one family member to another; tireless medical caregivers; supportive Worker’s Compensation Board; and, above all, the loyalty and love of one woman, Tina. I can’t help but reflect that Mother’s Day is upon us. May she be honoured for maintaining her equilibrium during this tumultuous time in their lives-for giving her husband and their child stability and love in the midst of so many unknowns.

Remember those blessings presented along with the choice of life? They have multiplied throughout this story. Both in the lives of Spencer and Tina Beach, and spreading out to the countless others touched by them. Including a group of volunteers sitting in a room in Ponoka. May we hold in our hearts the power of love in its many expressions.