Knowing that fall is never my best time of year, when my specialist and I agreed to drop down to connecting once a year, we agreed it should remain in the fall.
With that in mind, I reached out to my specialist’s office at the beginning of October to get on his schedule for sometime later in the month or in November.
Little did I know, when my specialist and I connected in the fall of 2021, it would be for the last time; when I called to book my fall appointment I was informed he had recently passed away.
Suffice it to say, I’m in shock.
This specialist has been following me since my previous one decided to reduce their workload, eliminating me as a patient.
To be honest, the first time this doctor and I connected it was not exactly a great meeting.
Still, over the ensuing years I came to respect his knowledge and abilities. He knew just where the balance was with me where it came to needing support support versus needing a kick in the butt.
In 2017, he began following up with me, starting at every three to six months via Telehealth before things entered a maintenance regime and extending to a yearly check in.
I know that I got to the point in my mental health recovery through a lot of hard work on my part, but I got here using the road map he helped lay out.
The thought of having to connect with a new specialist is daunting, but I have to look at the positives.
My specialist and I did all the heavy lifting to get where I am; whoever takes over has a solid blueprint to work from.
I can’t help but feel that things going forward are going to be different though.
Then again, that is life in a nutshell, isn’t it?
The only thing constant in life is change.
Change happens everyday, whether we are ready for it or not.
I am definitely sad about the loss of my specialist and someone who I started seeing as a mentor.
However, the best thing I can do to honour his memory is keep the forward momentum he helped me build.
That, and realize that life is fragile and can’t be taken for granted.
My mental health journey has been a long road, and it will be longer still. Unfortunately, this is just a tragic speed bump on my journey that I will get through, the same as all other challenges I have faced.