HAMMERTIME
As we relish in one of the mildest winters in Alberta history, we don’t really care what the sleepy old Ground Hog saw and we may even dare to start thinking about a hint of spring. While the skiers, boarders and snowmobilers are still roaring around in the high country and the kids are building great snowmen and forts, in some areas the usual piles of snow have quietly surrendered to last year’s grass.
Sure, there will still be a few snow storms, cold snaps and the odd blizzard, but considering what we got zapped with and managed to survive last very long winter, this one has been some sort of an El Nino paradise. As we get out and about each and every day, many of our January and February experiences have included hopping over puddles, shoveling slush, dodging pot holes, and really getting a kick out of watching the younger generation toss off their heavy coats and venture outside in shorts and T-shirts. Some hardy souls even dared to take their motorbikes out of the garage for a quick spin while others cruised the streets with the tops down on the convertible or used a dry spot in the park to chip some golf balls.
Of course there is always a down side to these glorious sudden mid-winter warm-ups as the outdoor rinks are melting, our vehicles are always dirty, sniffles are dominant and those old weather prognosticators are reminding us that if we don’t get more moisture, it might be a really tough spring. Meanwhile, the ice fishing fanatics, who have been having a great year in the sunshine, are hoping that their weekend visits to the hut-hangout on the lake won’t be cut short, and what a sinking feeling that would be.
Whatever the case, dear old Mother Nature and her buddy Jack Frost will somehow get even and make it all come out right just in time for planting and golf season. If this keeps up, just think how much the town will save on their snow removal budget, but if we do happen to get blasted with another dump or unpredictable ice storm, please co-operate by shovelling your walks, and moving your vehicle from the posted clearing routes. Whether March comes in like a lion or a lamb, we had better not rush out and buy our new spring wardrobe just yet, because as Albertans, we know by now that the forecast might just change, if we wait just a few hours..
A look at the laughable side of life
● As seniors we can insist that we don’t have gray hair. Instead they are known as ‘wisdom highlights’, and the more we have, the wiser we are.
● When the kids text asking for something and finish it off with ‘plz’, parents can now text back a ‘no’, because it is shorter than ‘yes.’
● Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can sure cover up the mistake.
● Why, with all the promo and sales phone calls we get nowadays, do we have to always press ‘one’ for English when we usually get someone on the other end who we can’t understand?
● We should always try to forgive our enemies, because it really messes up their heads, and also try to remember that you cannot unsay a cruel word, and on many occasions silence is the best answer.
● There are two theories to arguing with a woman, and neither works. The perfect formula for life is to live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.
Dating ads for sassy seniors
● I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation.
● If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take out our hearing aids and enjoy quiet times.
● Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, caramel candy, and good times.
● I still like to rock, to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and can still play my guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes, at least until the clock turns 10:00 p.m.
● Foxy, fashion-conscious blue-haired lady, 80s, slim, 5’4’ (used to be 5’6’) searching for sharp looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes, belt, and hopped up older car a plus.
As we drive around town in this mushy weather, we must try to be courteous when it comes to puddles so that we don’t give our pedestrians an unexpected bath. Have a great week, all of you.