Spring is about barbecues and garage sales

Even though our spring has been rather stubborn about taking hold this time around, there are still those great seasonal signs and traditions that always arrive in May, no matter what. I am sure for most of us spring means delightful attractions and distractions such as: mud, fresh air, new outfits and less clothes, birds and bugs, outdoor games, crop seeding and yard work, barbecuing, farmers’ market, garage sales, and on and on.

Even though our spring has been rather stubborn about taking hold this time around, there are still those great seasonal signs and traditions that always arrive in May, no matter what. I am sure for most of us spring means delightful attractions and distractions such as: mud, fresh air, new outfits and less clothes, birds and bugs, outdoor games, crop seeding and yard work, barbecuing, farmers’ market, garage sales, and on and on.

Who ever invented garage sales was a genius. It has now become an annual community neighbourhood event that allows folks of all ages to casually clean out their garages and homes, and may I dare say turn their hand-me-downs and assorted junk into some one else’s treasures, at a tidy taxless profit. What a great way to spend a weekend…grab a coffee, jump in the car, and follow the signs to garage sale heaven. So many find it a great deal of fun to hit the sale trail to browse and barter, visit with the neighbours, and hope that they can strike a bargain for the collectable or whatever it is that we have always wanted.

Most garage sale signs, like Ponoka are now placed on a bulletin board down at the Complex or in the paper, so as to avoid sudden stops and traffic jams, and to make it easier to plan your route of attack down alleys and up driveways. Some expert garage sale fanatics even send advance parties out to different sales to seek out and report the real deals before they are all gone.

The magic thing about garage sales is that if the better half doesn’t agree with what we proudly brought home, they can always be given away, or saved for our very own garage sale in a few weeks. Whatever the case, have fun and hopefully you will all find what you have been looking for, at the best price in town. Some after garage sale chatter: You know the old songs that you love; I just bought 34 LP records in mint condition. (But dear we don’t have a record player). If it doesn’t fit we’ll give it to the thrift shop. I bought the whole box for $10, so we can share! Remember those matching three-foot psychedelic lamps that I said would look perfect in the den? I got them both for 30 bucks.

After we all do a little yard work, play our first game of golf, finish the weekend shopping, or try to shake the kinks out after that first ball practise, it is a great tradition to get the whole gang together for a good old fashioned barbecue. Just in time for this gala, spring into summer occasion my old friend sent me this special set of official barbecue rules.

We are about to enter the barbecue season and therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it is the only type of cooking that a ‘real’ man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved? When a man volunteers to do the barbecue the following chain of events are methodically put into motion.

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the veggies, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to her man, who is lounging beside the grill with a beer in hand.

(4) HERE COMES THE MOST IMPORTANT PART: The man places the meat on the grill.

More routine….

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

(7) IMPORTANT TASK AGAIN. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table, does the dishes, and sends the kids for more pop and beer from the downstairs fridge.

(10) AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his talents and cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off’; and upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women, and then starts planning another barbecue bash for next weekend.

Useless facts for all occasions.

*Bats always turn left when exiting a cave, so we have the right away.

*The reason why honey is so easy to digest is that a bee has already digested it.

*Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

*Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six year olds laugh an average of 300 times a day, while us adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. So lets lighten up and enjoy a whole lot more chuckles.

Have a great week, all of you!!