The amazing patience of grandparents

A couple of weekends ago it was our turn to babysit our two rambunctious grandchildren

A couple of weekends ago it was our turn to babysit our two rambunctious grandchildren but wouldn’t you know, the weather was awful and the playground was under two feet of snow, so we had to think up some new ways to keep them busy. Saturday went just fine and included a movie, hockey and running in the mall day, but now, what would G and G plan for Sunday’s adventure while trying to keep up with these “energizer bunnies?”

Before panic set in, good old grandpa discovered in the morning paper that in honour of the City of Red Deer’s 100th anniversary, all of the recreation centres were hosting a free family fun day in all of their facilities. After a healthy breakfast of eggs, rice crackers, grapes and ice cream, we bundled them up and headed for the Collicutt Centre. Once inside, amid the din of hordes of happy children and patient parents, we let the boys loose in the massive fieldhouse to bounce on the inflatables, play basketball, badminton or floor hockey, climb walls, and hopefully burn off lots of energy long before dinner.

While always calm grandma organized and kept an eye on our precious offspring, yours truly quickly got bored just sitting and decided to join the maddening crowd and shoot some hoops, something I haven’t done since trying to out-hoop my son in those wild shootout sessions in the driveway. I didn’t do too badly for a 70-year-old, but kind of felt out of place amongst those young jocks with the Nike shoes, Kobe shirts, and powerful abs.

My stomach was soon informing me that lunchtime was approaching but the boys just kept on going, and not to be known as party-poopers, grandma and I just kept on mingling among the growing crowds. Then, out of the blue, the oldest grandson suggested that grandpa join him for a game of floor hockey, and being such a good sport I obliged, even offering to play goal. After several painful slap shots (plastic ball), some pretty slow moves and very few saves, they actually ran out of steam and asked if we could go home and have lunch. We were never so pleased to head out into the quiet and peaceful air, and although hitting the couch as soon as we got home, we were quite amazed that we had somehow managed to survive two busy hours without coffee, painkillers or getting grumpy.

Each time after we pack up all their stuff and they head home with their “relaxed” parents, we sit back, maybe have a nap and then chuckle over the two favourite family slogans in our condo: “What happens at grandma’s stays at grandma’s and “There’s no place like home — except at grandma and grandpa’s.”

All of us will always love being grandmas, grandpas, nanas and pops, again and again, and in a jolly salute to the ongoing patience and understanding of all of these present and future “silver haired angels,” let’s have just a little fun in our honour.

Grandma’s new computer

• A tribute to all the hardy grandparents, seniors, and past generations who have been fearless and somehow learned how to use the computer. We are the greatest, because we do not stop playing and laughing as we grow older.

The computer swallowed Grandma, Yes honestly it’s true.

She pressed control and enter, and disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely, the thought just makes me squirm,

She must have caught a virus or been eaten by a worm.

I’ve searched through the recycle bin, and files of every kind,

I’ve even used the Internet, but nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Mr. Google my searches to refine,

The reply from him was negative, not a thing was found online.

So, if inside your inbox, my Grandma you should see,

Please copy, scan, and paste her, and send her back to me.

Perks of being older

There is nothing left to learn the hard way, and if we don’t like the movie they choose we can just fall asleep in the middle of it.

• We no longer think of speed limits as a challenge, we can get away with eating supper at 5 p.m., snacking at 7 p.m., and going to bed at 9 p.m. At this stage of our lives most things that we buy will never wear out and it’s OK to sing along with the music in the elevator and the mall.

I saw my first robin and a flock of geese the other day through the snow flurries, so spring surely has arrived and we need to watch out for puddles, but just go ahead and have a great week, all of you!

— HAMMERTIME