As we crawl out of our cocoons after last week’s true blast of winter, we will just have to wait and see if the next few months on the way to spring will be weather fit for woolies or water wings? On the other hand, whether the ground hogs saw his shadow or not there is no doubt the action will begin to heat up on the political front as election-bashing time is now upon us.
Just for fun and to salute all those dedicated party candidates who will throw their hats into the provincial election ring I will offer this unique little story, as well as reminding everyone how important it is for all of us to get out and vote.
The ant and the grasshopper....
Classic version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the whole summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and cozy and well fed, while the shivering grasshopper now had no food or shelter and dies out in the cold. The end.
The government solution....
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and cozy and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. A TV crew shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the ant relaxing in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
Canadians are stunned that in a country with such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. Demonstrations occur all over the nation. The TV stations interrupting a history special with breaking news, broadcasts them singing “We Shall Overcome.”
Politician Jack Smith rants in an interview that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his ‘fair share.’ In response to polls, the government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant’s taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the United States, and starts a successful agribiz company.
The TV later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant’s food, though spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house crumbles around him because he hasn’t bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Rob Jones is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. Meanwhile the grasshopper is soon found dead of a drug overdose and the newspaper blames the tragedy on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, who are praised by the government for enriching Canada’s multicultural diversity and promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community! The end.
Aging with humor
*Remember: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
*The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
*These days about half the stuff in our shopping cart says, “for fast relief.”
*I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape so I got permission from my doctor to join a fitness club. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down and perspired for an hour; but by the time I got my leotards on the class was over.
*The worst thing about growing old is having to listen to a lot of advice from one’s children.
*The Senility Prayer: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Have a great, and hopefully warmer week, all of you.