I really love it when my grandchildren ask all sorts of questions, as well giving their very honest and totally innocent opinions on all sorts of subjects. Even though we roar with laughter or occasionally pause in fear at what they say or to come up with the right reply, it will always be a wonderful experience and discussion piece in all of our homes.
How old are you is always one of the favourites, and you had better get it right or they will quickly come back with such wide eyed remarks such as…’you sure look a lot older than that’, or ‘why do you have so many wrinkles and red marks?’ Another popular out of the blue question from all kids might be….’did you do that when you were a youngster, and why did you fall in love with mom/grandma? The answers are not only priceless and completely unrehearsed; they can also be quite embarrassing to everyone in the room, except the kids. Whatever the case, Bill Cosby and Art Linkletter made a fortune from their hilarious and long-standing kid’s question and answer shows, and heres just a few dandies I would like to pass on to you this week
*God made mothers because: she is the only one who knows where the sticky tape is, to clean the house, and to help us get born.
*How did God make mothers? He used a little dirt just like the rest of us, he used magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring, and he made my mum just the same as me, except he used bigger parts. All mothers are made out of clouds, angels, and everything nice in the world, and with just one little dab of mean.
*Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum? Because we’re related, and he knew that she likes me a lot more than the other moms do. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff, but I don’t know what kind of a little girl she was cause I wasn’t there, but I would guess she would be mostly real nice but sometimes quite bossy.
*What did your mum need to know about your dad before she married him? His last name, his background, if he makes at least $800 a year, and if he said no to drugs and beer, and yes to chores! Even though my Grandma said she didn’t have her thinking cap on, my mom finally married my dad because he makes the best spaghetti in the world and she eats a lot, and because she got too old to do anything else with him.
*Who is the boss in your house? My mom doesn’t want to be but she has to because dad can be such an idiot some times, but I guess mom is because she has a lot more to do than my dad. She is always the boss of room inspection because she sees stuff under the beds.
*What do you think is the difference between moms and dads? Moms work at work and work at home and dad’s just work at work then make an excuse and sneak off to play golf. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them; and while dads are always taller and stronger, the mums have the real power because that’s who we have to ask to get the final answer about staying over at a friends They can also perform magic by making you feel better without medicine and by solving all problems with a treat, they can’t spank very hard, and they don’t snore.
*What does your mom do in her spare time? She doesn’t have any spare time, and to hear her talk she pays bills all day long.
*What would it take to make your mom perfect? On the inside she’s already perfect, but maybe some plastic surgery on the outside, and I would dye her hair blue.
*If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be? She has this weird thing about keeping my room clean, and I’d get rid of that. I’d make my mum even a little smarter so that she would know it was my little sister that did it and not me, and I would also get rid of those invisible eyes in the back of her head.
*A grandmother was fondly telling her tiny granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on the pond, I had a neat swing made out of a tire hanging from a big tree in the front yard, we rode our pony, and we picked wide raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in, and at last she said; “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner gramma!”
All of our kids and grand-children are very precious, so hug them and love them at every opportunity, and have a great spring week, all of you.